The OrthoFile

Do you have to be sociable to be into social media?

2010-02-25T22:05:00.005+02:00

This entry is in response to all my friends who have asked me why I haven't written a blog post recently.

Contrary to everyone else's view, I believe that you should only write a blog post if you have something interesting to say. Yes, there are some people that have something remarkable to write about everyday. But the majority of blog posts I read are just worthless musings from unremarkable people.

So what have I got to say that is worthy of being published?

Social media is all about being sociable. It's about chatting, sharing, making people laugh, being outrageous and making yourself into a "personality". But there are some great people in the world that are naturally quiet and serious. The "non-personalities"probably outnumber the so-called "personalities".

My shocking observation is that these "non-personalities" will NEVER be into social media. I am backing this up by my own research on a sample of one - ME!

Yes, for about 3 months I felt very unsociable. Let's call it depressed. During that period of time I couldn't bring myself to write one Facebook update, send out one Tweet or even search YouTube. I was out of the loop of social media and just into unsocial media; reading and contemplation.

So YES, I believe you have to be sociable to be into social media.

Does anyone agree with me? Let's see some real academic research on this subject.

When you reach rock-bottom, laugh or start a facebook group

2009-10-05T18:53:00.004+02:00

When you reach rock-bottom, what do you do?

1. Turn to G-d
2. Speak to a Rabbi
3. Cry to your best friend
4. Drink a bottle of brandy
5. Buy a bar of the most expensive chocolate in the world

OK, tried all of that and only reached +0.009% on the happiness scale.

How about writing a blog? Mmm, wrote one version and deleted it.

What am I left with?

The best therapies in the world - laughter and facebook. What about combining both of them?

So here it is, a funny facebook group:
"Jewish Women Like to Laugh"

Ladies, join my group and make me laugh. I need it.
Join: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=167146111536

Is the Torah a thinking universe?

2009-07-25T22:09:00.010+03:00

Anonymous Questions: I pose my queries to the universe. Peace upon you.

Answers: by Rabbi Moshe Yossef BA (Hons), Jerusalem 97492

Question: Do you believe that the "UNI' has it's own conscious energy? Science has yet to understand this.

Answer: According to Hassidism, as espoused by the holy Ba'al Shem Tov, every entity in the universe, indeed all matter, including inanimate matter, possesses inherent spiritual energy, without which it would cease to exist. This school of thought is a branch of Jewish mysticism.

Question:I don't know what theTorah sez about a thinking universe. Do you have an opinion?

Answer: According to Midrashic sources of the Torah every entity in the universe, including inanimate matter, has a type of spirit associated with, and representing it. Whilst I accept everything the Torah states unquestioningly, I have not yet delved in any depth in the spheres of mysticism. This being the case, I can only attempt to answer questions of this type on a basic level.

Question: Most people don't consider the skin as an organ?

Answer: I suppose that would depend on your definition of what constitutes an organ. In relation to the issues discussed above, it would appear to be true to say that the skin possesses its own intrinsic spiritual energy. As long as it is part of a whole, living body, I think probably it would share the same spirit as that of the whole body. In our faith, a living man has three distinct types of spirit.

May the source of all creation guide and direct you to your full potential.

Ten essential items a Jewish Mummy needs for survival

2009-07-06T16:21:00.021+03:00

As voted on by a top team of select experts in Jerusalem

(OK - just 10 intelligent Mummies)

#1 Floorcloth (Smatut in Hebrew)

You need this on hand 24/7 for those very occasional spills and floods. Like the time I took a Shabbat nap, and woke up to see water entering my room.

#2 A Packet of Bamba (For the rest of the world Potato Chips)

This bag contains all the nutrition and vitamins your child needs for the next hour. When they say "I want' at least ten times, you can give in and give them a non-sugary healthy snack without feeling guilty of causing hyper-activity.

# 3 A Pacifier/Dummy (Motzez in Hebrew)

A must for every fashion conscious Mummy's handberg. In Israel while you are standing at the checkout with a wailing child everyone screams at you "Where is your pacifier?". Perhaps they mean you need to put it in your own mouth to prevent you from screaming about the store's prices?

#4 Toilet Paper

I don't think I need to spell it out. Toilet paper has many uses, apart from what it was manufactured for. There are always accidents - major and minor - that require a little dabbing. Like a dripping ice-cream all over your favorite white outfit ....

#5 An Ice Pop (Igloo in Hebrew)

This is a serious first-aid instrument for cut mouths, bruises, bumps on the head and tantrums. Child can even enjoy it on route to be stitched-up. No medicine kit should be without it.

#6 Chocolate

A treat hidden away for Mummy on those infrequent "bad days". Like finally getting "little ones" to bed and discovering "big ones" have wrecked your computer. If you really don't like chocolate, you can always donate it to "best friend".

#7 Sachet of Coffee - not decaffeinated

Similar to #6, but can be used in the morning to get going after a hard night.

#8 Tin of Tuna

Some days, an interesting but low-price meal is impossible to dream up. No Jewish kitchen should be without a tin of tuna. It can be turned into quiche, rissoles, spaghetti sauce, and a lot more I am sure. But it is most enjoyable when eaten straight out of the tin.

#9 Toy Giraffe

On so many car and bus trips everyone gets sooh boored. A toy giraffe is a great distraction. There can be endless discussions on whether a giraffe is a kosher animal or not. If it is, then where on the neck can you slaughter (shecht) it?

#10 Two Chewy Candies (Toffim in Hebrew)

Apart from using them as candies, they can be used in many other interesting ways. They are malleable like plasticine and can look great moulded into the shape of pets. They are sticky so can be an alternative to conventional stickers on walls. They also look great as hair decorations, and are imposible to remove from hair or clothes. More?

This is MY list of 10 items. Please comment and add more.

Oh, I forgot #11 - A SENSE OF HUMOR

Learning to swim - for the second time in my life

2009-05-20T16:42:00.008+03:00

I was born in a small seaside town in England. We could smell the sea air from our house. My Mother used to take my sister and I to the beach everyday as toddlers. So from an early age I loved playing in water.

From paddling in the sea, I taught myself to swim at age 7. From then on you couldn't keep me away from water. Every chance that came to me, I jumped in to swim. Even the cold, icy sea water of Ireland didn't put me off. On a vacation to Rome, all I wanted to do was jump in the hotel pool. The tourist sites were of no interest to me!

Then we moved away from the sea. But that was not a deterrent for my father. He just dug up our whole back yard and put a swimming pool in its place. For a suburb of London that was rather strange behavior. Our Greek neighbors just thought we were eccentric Jews....

So for the next 20 years of my life if I ever wanted to swim, I could just jump out of my bedroom window. That's a bit of an exaggeration as my bedroom was on the first floor. You also have to take into account that London's weather is mostly cold and rainy. Anyway I did swim a lot, either at home or in an exclusive pool in a trendy gym.

Then I got married and moved to Israel. After 3 kids, and a few brief dips in the Mediterranean, I decided to take up my swimming career again. Our neighbourhood has a big pool with women-only hours. So every Friday morning I rushed to drop off my kids in school, and did 20 laps in the pool. It was fun, except for my collisions with big fat Russian ladies swimming backwards and Israelis that came in the water just to chat.

Suddenly with very little warning after child number 5, my swimming career came to an abrupt end.

I was hospitalized for 4 months with Severe Ataxic Sensory Neuropathy. In lay terms this means I was disabled as a quadraplegic, with all my senses of balance damaged. To give me encouragement, a top Neurologist in Jerusalem bluntly said to me that there was little chance of recovery.

But I didn't cry much. I still had my arms and legs; and could talk, see and eat normally. Believe me, I saw much worse in the hospital.

When I returned home in a wheelchair it took me time to adjust to being a wheelchair-mum. After a year or so, my family convinced me to try swimming again. So a few times I tried swimming with my husband in a regular pool. But for me it was a failure. I had to be held like a baby and I just flapped my hands. The water took away all my sense of balance and I was completely disoriented.

I saw people around me swimming normally, and then I really cried.

I don't know why not being able to swim upset me so much. It hurt more than not being able to walk on my own (I walk with leg casts, a walker and someone behind me). In the end I came to terms with it, and decided to accept it as part of my "new" life.

Then 3 years later, a clever doctor suggested hydrotherapy. But it was winter, I had no careworker, and a dozen other excuses not to go swimming again.

This week the weather suddenly got very hot. So I thought let's go for it, and give swimming a final try. So I took the plunge and went into the water with a professional teacher in a special pool. After slowly easing me to put my head in the water, the teacher gave me a rubber "snake" and told me to swim the stroke I wanted. I chose front crawl, my fave Olympic style of swimming.

Knowing I was in safe hands I gave it my best effort. In less than one minute I swam to the end of the pool. "How was it", she asked in Hebrew. I just burst into tears - tears of joy as it was so wonderful that I could swim again. "Another few sessions in the pool", she said, "and you'll be able to swim on your own".

You can't imagine how happy I felt - and still feel about it. What is the importance of being able to swim? Many people live a very fulfilled life without ever going swimming.

I can't answer this question. All I know now, is that it is a very important part of being "me". So I see that I should never give up trying to be "me", but be the best "me" that I can.

So I truly thank G-d for all he has given me, and hope this inspires others to keep trying to do what they really want to in life.

Is it permissable for a Woman to breastfeed in Shul?

2009-05-14T21:15:00.009+03:00

by Rabbi Moshe Yossef BA (Hons)

It appears that the question of breastfeeding in Shul has not been discussed in the Rabbinic "Responsa", for the simple reason that it was never considered a question!

Breastfeeding in Shul is problematic for the following reasons:

1) Breastfeeding in any public place breaches the boundaries of modesty (tzniut). This would apply even in an exclusively all-female environment. It is true that with caution, it is possible to nurse a baby without uncovering one-self in a way that is at all visible. Even under these circumstances, however, the other issues which will be listed still remain problematic.

2) Breastfeeding in Shul contravenes the laws relating to the preservation of the sanctity of a Shul. These laws are dealt with in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Siman 151. You will see there that, for example, even drinking is forbidden in Shul (according to the Biur Halacha, this includes even water). Of course, drinking from a cup does not exposing oneself at all.

3) Breastfeeding in Shul, even when in the most careful and modest way possible, is likely to distract others from having concentration (kavanah) in their prayers. (This issue could arguably be considered an extension of (2) above).

Furthermore, since there is no obligation for a woman to attend Shul in the first place, there are no grounds to apply leniencies in this ruling. This is all the more so since the taking of a young minor to Shul is in itself forbidden on the grounds of their disturbing others from their prayer (by way of their crying etc) - this issue is well documented in Mishna Brura as the well as in Rabbinic Responsa.

In light of the above considerations, there is no permission (heter) in relation to this issue. Be'ezrat Hashem your child will grow up healthy and strong and make his/her own way to Shul, in time to come.

Happy Passover again!

2009-05-06T15:26:00.020+03:00

No, not a mistake or a joke. Today the 14th of Iyar is "Passover the second" or more commonly known as "Pesach Sheni".

Women, you don't have to clean your fridge again! You have another 11 months left before you need to drive yourself mad with cleaning everything in site.

Thought your tummies could have a break from Matzahs for a while? No, sorry about that. The custom is to eat a little Matzah to celebrate the day.

So what is Pesach Sheni?

There were some people who were ritually defiled at the time at which they would have brought the Paschal sacrifice (14th Nisan), and were therefore exempted from the Mitzvah. They approached Moses with a request – even though they were exempted from performing the Mitzvah. They did not want to miss out. What could they do?

Moses agreed to consult with G-d, and a new Mitzvah was declared: that of Pesach Sheni – the second Pesach.

On this day, the Paschal Lamb is sacrificed (by those so obliged), accompanied by similar conditions to that of Pesach Rishon. There is, however, no prohibition against possessing, or even eating Hametz on Pesach Sheni.

Today, when the holy Temple in Jerusalem is destroyed and we are therefore unable to offer any sacrifices, Pesach Sheni is celebrated by eating Matzah only.

So what can we learn from this? Let's ask the Rabbi - my husband! (Rabbi Moshe Yossef).

He says we should always seek to fulfill our moral obligations. Don't take the easy way out in life.

For example, we should respect and give honor to our parents. Even if it comes to the point that we can no longer care for them, and put them in a Nursing Home, our job is not over. Visit them, pay for extra care and give them back the loving they gave you.

Source for this post:

It states in the verse (Numbers 9:10-11): “…anyone who is ritually defiled, or too far to be able to reach the Temple in Jerusalem on time etc.., shall offer the Paschal sacrifice to Hashem. In the second month, on the 14th day…”. The Sages of Israel in tractate Pesochim inferred that, in fact, this Mitzvah applies to anyone who intended to offer the Paschal lamb at the appointed time, but was prevented from doing so as a result of circumstances beyond their control.

7 Rules for Parents of Jewish Teenagers

2009-05-02T20:52:00.017+03:00

Two Teenagers have suddenly entered my house!

Last summer, I was busy raising five kids. All of a sudden in the month of April, two teenagers suddenly entered my house. Who were they?

My own Son (13 last August) and my own Daughter (12 in March).

As a "newbie" to parenting teenagers, this is what I have learned so far:

Rule #1
Don't go shopping with your Daughter for shoes. This one is not "in fashion", this one has too many holes, this one has horrible colors, this one is too high, this one is too narrow, this one is ???

Rule #2
Be passionate about every interest your Son has. You need to keep up with him on gadgets, supercars, bicycles, guns, warriors ... and more.

Rule #3
Become an expert in acne, spots, pimples and any physical blemishes. This applies to both boys and girls.

Rule #4
Don't ask too many questions. If they are late back, they know they are in the wrong. Asking for more detail just starts an argument. Anyway, being Jewish, they will always answer you back with a question.

Rule #5
Be prepared for violent outbursts like chair throwing, glass breaking etc. In fact anything that makes a loud noise. I advise some bodily protection, maybe an invisible shield?

Rule #6
You have to like their music, and know all the names of the most popular artists. I think this applies to both pop music and Jewish music. You must even be prepared to send a Twitter to their favorite celebrity.

Rule #7
Help them with their social networking! No joke, I have opened a Twitter account for my 13-year old son www.twitter.com/SuperCarFan and a blog for my 12-year old daughter http://jewishgirls.blogspot.com As they can just about write English, guess who has to do all the work?

To summarise:
Listen, talk, listen, talk, listen, talk .............

It's fun, but you need a lot of patience!

I would be grateful for any additions to my list of Rules, as I am still learning.

The adventures of a "Nebbach" - part 2

2009-04-25T21:19:00.010+03:00

This is part 2, because I posted part 1 on my blog in December 2007.

Who is the "Nebbach"? Of course it is me. Not because I feel that I am really a Nebbach, but when "horrible" things happen to me I want to laugh about them afterwards, not cry.

So has nothing happened for over a year? Good question...

Episode 5 - winter was coming, and we were short of girls' clothes (and short of cash). So we decided to take up an offer of "amost new" 2nd hand clothes. However this involved making an evening trip into town. For me this is a big event. Getting kids in bed, getting the wheelchar in the van and being schlepped up 2 flights of stairs.

The clothes turned out to be a big disappointment, mainly baby clothes. So a bit fed up, my husband schlepped the wheelchair down the 2 flights of stairs in the dark. As we reached the bottom step, my wheechair got caught and I was tipped forward. Luckily I fell onto the small bag of clothes I was holding which cushioned the impact. But unluckily I fell into a puddle of sewage water!

I felt such a "Nebbach" that I couldn't stop crying. Thoughts of how lucky I was not to hurt myself didn't console me. Even thinking how funny this story was didn't stop the tears. Even knowing that this was probably the hand of G-d didn't help.

Now 6 months later I can laugh, and want to make others laugh at the story (not at me).

Episode 6 - a week before my Son's Bar Mitzvah last August, my foreign careworker left. The previous careworker had stolen all my expensive jewelery.

We then we had to wait another 5 months for a new foreign worker to arrive. She turned up in the middle of Chanukah. After 4 weeks she disappeared never to return.

A few days later, the agency, anxious to get their commission brought another lady. I thought it was just for an interview, but she had her bags with her. Not being in a position to be choosy - no one wants to work with a family - we hired her. Well, I don't know who is the Nebbach here, me or the worker.

The worker comes from a small village in Nepal, and up to now has had a very primitive 3rd World existence. No washing machine, no dryer, no oven, no microwave, no toaster, no hairdryer, no computer, no mobile phone, no MP3, no buses and even no supermarket. How spoilt we are today!

Apart from that, there are "cultural" differences, like eating with her hands, spitting in the street, not washing her hands after the bathroom...

She is still in our employment after 3 months, and can just about use my kitchen appliances. So who is the "Nebbach"?

The answer:
Neither her or me. Every person - Jew or non-Jew - is created in G-d's image (Be'tselem Elockim). This can be found in Genesis (Bereishit) in relation to the creation of Adam, the first human being.

Kabbalah takes this to an even higher level. Rabbi Moshe Corderovo in his book "The Palm Tree of Devorah" (Tomer Devorah) says that "one should not disparage any creature, for all of them were created with Wisdom (Chochmah). This extends to all of creation - inanimate objects, plants, animals and humans.

So, is the end of my "Nebbach" adventures?

What's so different about being a Jewish Parent?

2009-04-22T20:02:00.005+03:00

What's so different about being a Jewish Parent?

What's so different about being Jewish?

Here, you can tell I'm Jewish as I have to answer a question with another question! Well is there a difference in Parenting between non-Jews and Jews?

I think so, and all the world's comedians will tell you a joke about Jewish Mothers so there must be a difference.

Here is my take on the differences I have noticed over the 13 years of parenting my five kids.

1. Expectations
Yes, we all have very high expectations for our children. "My Son the Lawyer", or in my circles "My Son the Talmud Scholar." Too high in practice as we all know "As long as they are happy"....

2. Advice from friends & family
We are never deprived of advice from friends and family on how to bring up our kids. "You need to give them more attention", "You need to take them to therapy", "You need to make them help at home" and so on. Great, but whose advice do we follow? Our own usually as of course we know best.

3. Choosing a school
A very difficult decision whatever type of Jew you are. Private or State? Local or in Town? Chassidish or Litvish? Bet Yaa'cov or Torani? In Israel the list is endless. But of course, whichever school you choose, you can be sure you have to fight to get your child in. Unless you have the Jewish weapon of "Protection".

4. Circle of friends
I am sure this is a concern for any Parent, but for affiliated Jews this is a big issue. So what that the friend is Jewish, but is the family suitable?

5. Marriage Partners
I am already worrying about who my 4-year old will marry! For non-Jews nowadays, I hear that "Marriage" is not even the slightest worry as no one bothers with this old-fashioned institution anymore.

6. Worrying
Say no more...

I will end my list now, but I'm sure everyone will point out major omissions. Please feel free to add your comments.

For now, I love being a Jewish Parent, and look forward to being a good "Bubbie".

The Joys of being a Jew in Jerusalem

2009-04-07T20:32:00.012+03:00

In the last month 3 special events have made me appreciate being a Jew and living in Jerusalem (the holiest city in the world).

First of all, my oldest daughter became Bat Mitzvah 2 weeks ago. OK, so this happens to all women, but what was so special for me. This girl, my 2nd child was born with a very serious heart defect. As a baby, she was very sick and underwent a few operations. I never thought she would develop well.

But she turned into a beautiful 12-year old girl. Very clever and talented at drawing, playing the organ and school-work. So we celebrated her becoming a woman and taking on all the Mitzvahs. Together we went to the Western Wall and prayed together (me with tears and her with all her heart). Then at home she did her first Mitzvah of taking Challah. On the day of her party she sang a beautiful song thanking G-d and her family for everything in her life.

Secondly a few days ago, an acquaintance of mine from England called me to say she had converted to become a Jew. This made me appreciate being born a Jew, and having had all the opportunities for 48 years of my life to celebrate Jewish festivals. When it comes to performing Mitzvahs and being a good Jew, I guess I haven't taken all the chances I was given. But volutarily taking Judaism on, well that is something else... I also frequently take for granted that I live in the holiest city in the world - Jerusalem.

And today, a third really special event occurred. Blessing of the Sun - Birkat Hachama - only said once every 28 years. For me it was the first time in my life I have recited this blessing. And I had the opportunity to say it in Israel, in Jerusalem, in a religious neighbourhood. What a great feeling. This is only the 3rd time ever it has been said on Erev Passover, so today was really a special day.

So now I can truly appreciate "The Joys of being a Jew in Jerusalem".

Happy Passover!
Chag Kasher Ve'Sameach

How to choose a career for yourself

2009-03-09T20:27:00.007+02:00

I am good at giving other people advice as to what work they should do. But when it comes to myself, of course this is more difficult.

For a while I have been dissatisfied with what I am doing. I felt that I had been given this disability in order to something special with my life. My current work selling Internet ads and managing Google accounts didn't seem to be that worthwhile to mankind. As a result, I did less work and racked my brains for something new to do. Just doing exercise and keeping the house together isn't enough for me.

Anyway, work came to me, so I did it as we need the money. I even ventured to visit a client in my wheelchair. Funnily enough, I began to realize that I was getting pleasure from the work. Also I was proving that a disabled person does still have a brain!

Then came the message from above that I was waiting for - but in a very unexpected place and manner.

Last week I had to go into hospital for a minor procedure. Unfortunately we had to take a private doctor, and go to a private hospital in Petach Tikva. Rather different to the normal Israeli hospital.

So they had me all kitted out in the very appealing operating gown, cap and sox waiting to see the anesthetist. The normal questions came (in Hebrew), then the more difficult ones. What was my work? I thought this was a test question to check I had all my "faculties". As my Hebrew is poor, I just said Marketing. Not good enough for the doctor. What sort of Marketing? Hmm, try explaining this in simple Hebrew to a Russian doctor. So I said "Internet marketing like advertising on Google". (I was hoping he would at least know what Google is, and stop asking me more questions).

No, he carried on. "So you must be rich" he said. Haha. I fell for that one. "No way" I said, "You must earn more than me". Then came the killer answer. "I only earn 27 shekels an hour (approx. $6)" he said. I was dumbfounded - I pay much more than this to a house cleaner! So we carried on chatting, and the nurse joined in saying she earnt the same amount.

At the end of this conversation, I just thought what a strange country we live in.

But that's not the end of the story.

I'm in the operating room, having maneuvered myself up to the operating table by 2 doctors. My legs are hoisted up in the air, a drip is in my arm and I am waiting for a nice sleep. Then comes in another doctor and says to me "I hear you do Google work". Well, that's it. There can't be a clearer message to me from above that this is the work I should be doing.

Is there a morale to this story for anyone else? Maybe.

A career - or work as I think of it now - doesn't have to be saving the world or making millions. It should be fun, bring in a few pennies (shekels or dollars are also OK), but most importantly make you feel good about yourself.

Appreciating what you have

2008-01-27T19:24:00.000+02:00

I recently spoke to a friend about my writing, and said that I had run out of things to write about. She said just write about things that happen to you. At the time, I thought nothing interesting happens in my boring life. Of course the next day something did happen ....

On a Friday morning, I took a call from a heavily accented Russian lady. Can I come for shabbos she said. It was a contact my husband had made from an email list he subscribes to. I was kind of perplexed, normally we discuss these things first. But something in her voice sounded desperate. So I said OK, as long as you don't mind sleeping in the same room as the kids. Fine she said....Well, I thought she wouldn't turn up like many others we have asked.

One hour before Shabbos, a large middle-aged lady rings our bell. The first thing she says is you have saved me from Arabs. A rather shocking statement....It turns out that the lady is homeless, and is currently living in an Arab hostel. Being Jewish she didn't want to spend a Shabbos in the company of Arabs. Apparently there are no cheap Jewish-owned hostels in Jerusalem.

She was so appreciative of being with Jews, a family, hot food and her own room (my son gave his room up). She had virtually noone to turn to - no husband, kids or family. After she left, I realized how ungrateful we all are for what we have in our lives. We have a beautiful home, but I often feel depressed about not getting out. We have 5 kids, but they frequently drive us 'meshugah'. How lucky we are.....

Patience

2008-01-16T19:34:00.000+02:00

I often think about the word "patience".

When I was in hospital, being a "patient" took a lot of patience. You called for a nurse or a doctor, and maybe someone would arrive a few hours later. As one Israeli surgeon bluntly put it, if you don't shout loud in a hospital you die! I will never forget the sweet nurse who when I asked to be taken to the toilet said, "but you went yesterday...''.

In Israel, everyone says "savlanut" - have patience. But the word comes from the verb ''lisbol", which means to suffer. To me this is the real meaning of patience. Everyone says to me, you might get better over time. This requires a lot of patience on my behalf, and yes, a lot of suffering.

Unfortunately, I don't seem to have been born with an abundance of patience. So my question is, where can I find patience. Can I buy it in a shop in Jerusalem? Can I purchase it online? Will it just begin to grow on its own? Any answers please ....

Of course I really know that having "patience" comes from pure faith. So this is obviously a task I have been given to work on.

The adventures of a "Nebbach" - part 1

2007-12-26T19:24:00.000+02:00

A few months back I made the decision that I was going to try and make a life for myself. Part of this "new life"was that I was going to get out more. Well this month I got out a lot more and had some unfortunate mishaps in achieving this goal. I have tried to make some sense out of it, but I can't so I have now decided I will try and laugh about it, rather than cry!

Episode 1 - on a day out with my parents we went to an indoor play area for kids. While I was there I asked my Dad to get me a coffee. He came back with a nice hot cup, and I took a few sips. Then I lost my concentration and spilt the nearly full cup over my legs. It was scalding hot, and really burnt. Baruch Hashem we were next door to our doctor's clinic, who treated me straight away. Even with 2 pairs of trousers on, I still ended with a small burn mark.

Episode 2 - recently there was a neighbourhood musical on in a hall in town. My neighbour had written the play and a few of my close friends were acting in it. So I was kind of obliged to go. On top of that I was also offered a free ticket. I went with a friend and sat through 3 hours of fun in a cold hall. Getting home was a bit of an ordeal - being shlepped into a taxi. On my return home I found that I had lost my gold wedding and engagement rings! The cold had made my fingers contract and they just fell off. Some calling round and search still hasn't turned them up.

I have accepted this loss as 'beshert', and as a 'kapparah' for something worse. After all, it is just a material loss, which in the bigger scheme of life is worth nothing at all.

Episode 3 - a friend was having a local bar mitzvah and wrote on the invitation, please come there are no steps. So shabbos morning I got dressed up, and my son Yehuda pushed me up the hill to take me there. Unfortunately there were 3 small steps to negotiate to get in - but we managed. It was a little crowded inside, but it was nice to see my friends. Coming down the steps, the wheelchair got stuck and I was tipped out to fall flat on my back on the pavement! Apart from the embarrassment, I got some nasty scrapes on my knee and arm.

Episode 4 - another friend was making a bar mitzvah in a wheelchair accessible hall. So, braving the cold weather I went out in an evening to wish her mazal tov. This time I managed a small loss, but it still bothered me nevertheless. I mislaid my cheap fingerless black gloves. The next day we called the hall and found out that all "lost and found" items were just thrown out in the garbage!

Well, by now I was feeling a real nebbach...Was it really worth going out if "disasters" were going to happen everytime?

Episode 5 - determined to break the pattern, I went to the 3rd bar mitzvah. This time, nothing happened....

So what can I get out of all these mishaps? No, I am not really a nebbach. But I hope there won't be a part 2 to this story. I just have to get on with life whatever happens, and take the "ups with the downs". I have just orderd a new engagement ring, so my short period of being "single" will end soon!

what it's like to be "OLD"

2007-12-13T20:16:00.001+02:00

I guess a lot of people who reach their 40's ponder what it would be like to age and be old. Well, for me I don't need to worry as I already know what it's like to be "old".

I have also had the wonderful experience of spending 10 days as a resident of an old peoples home. A lovely place, but terrible care. At breakfast time, many old people were just falling asleep with their heads in the porridge and noone seemed to care. In the evening, some people were just abandoned in front of the TV.

Being "old" for me now is not being able to care for myself, constantly worrying about going to the bathroom and being too tired to go out and have fun. Also continual complaining and moaning about pain, and discussing medications with every person I meet.

So being "old" is not so terrible really - anyway with 3 kids under 10 I can't be a real Bubba!

Who is in control?

2007-11-28T19:38:00.000+02:00

Most of my life, I have felt in control of my days and plans. As a young "Yuppie" I did what I wanted, worked hard, earned good money and only worried about finding a husband.

As a "young" married, things didn't quite go to plan. Number 2 child born with a serious heart problem, money problems, no job etc. But still I felt in control.

Then bang, age 44, my health goes and my life is totally "out of control". But I am still stuck with this control obsession Looking back over the years prior to my disability, I often wonder if could have done something to prevent it, as I hadn't really felt 100% well for a number of years.

Even now, I haven't learnt the lesson. I try to plan my days and things go wrong. This week, my physiotherapist said I must spend more time in a chair, and less time in a wheelchair. The next day, as I was out walking and a wheel fell off my wheelchair and I was forced to sit in a chair most of the day!

So who is in control? There is a good yiddish saying that encapsulates this well:
"A mensch tracht, und die Ebishter lacht".
Roughly translated, it means a man makes plans, and Hashem laughs!

4-wheel drive

2007-11-22T19:25:00.000+02:00

Yes, there has come a day when I can use a 4-wheel walker! Not an easy thing to do when your body and legs are like a wobbly-bendy doll...

With 4 wheels the walker can go real fast which is a bit of a problem for me. There are brakes and a seat, but even these are difficult to use. I guess it's like all my other equipment - push weelchair, standard walker, leg casts - in the beginning they were all hard to use. Right now, I need very close supervision to use it. But in the future who knows?

Now winter has started in Israel, getting to walk outside has become more difficult. So I guess I'll be trying out the 4-wheel drive around the house.

Disabled or Physically Challenged?

2007-11-11T19:19:00.000+02:00

I don't like putting labels on people for any reason - from religious outlook to political views. But just recently a friend recently asked me how I would describe myself. So I have a dilemna.

In Hebrew, it's OK as I only know one word, and I usually only use it if I want help. In English, though, I don't like any of the words you could use:

Disabled. It could be either mentally or physically. not me

Handicapped. Same as above.

Wheelchair bound. Not strictly true, as I can walk with a walker (as long as someone is near me to catch me if I fall!)

Sick. Could be anything from terminally ill to sick in the head. Too broad a description.

Physically Challenged. Very politically correct and in my case also technically correct. But it doesn't really feel like me.

Actually I just would like to describe myself as "NORMAL", because that is how I see myself. Does anyone else have some other ideas? Just don't say crazy!

One of my legs needs oiling

2007-11-06T19:11:00.000+02:00

Well, not my leg actually, but the leg cast needs oiling. Everytime I walk it squeaks!

This is an update on my walking progress, and general attitude to life.

After 2 years of being wheel-chair bound I am fed up of doing exercise for the sake of it. My phyiotherapists set me lots of boring exercise to do on my own, like lifting my legs up, sit ups, playing with plasticine etc. Mostly these exercises involve lying in bed, sometimes with the help of my care-worker. I just can't motivate myself everyday for at least 30 minutes. I need a life!

So this year, I have decided to do things I like doing. Walking outside is fine, and I can now walk to the nearest supermarket, which is very exciting. Today I walked inside a shopping mall which was fun. I have been making jewellry with a neighbour which is fun. And I have also set time aside for learning which makes me feel good.

Apart from this, I am going to make an effort to go to Simchas even if I am in pain. I went to an engagement party yesterday for only half an hour, enjoyed it and still feel the "simcha"now.

I still feel I only have "half a life", but I am working on trying to make it more fulfilling.

Living one day at a time

2007-09-24T20:15:00.000+02:00

Friends have said to me why don't I write more often. There are 2 main reasons. Either I haven't got anything humorous to say, or there is no "big message" I have to pass on to others.

Well, these last few months have taught me a big lesson in life. So now I feel I want to pass it on...

When we had to throw out in May our live-in careworker for stealing, I was scared. Even though I hated her, I had come to rely on her after over a year of her being with me in our house. But we had a new girl lined up so it shouldn't have been too traumatic.

Well, I was wrong....the girl left after a week and we had 4 months of temporary help. That meant training 7 different careworkers and training lots of girls/mums how to run our house. On top of this, this "episode" fell over the summer vacation when our kids weren't in full time school. So they needed to be amused as well.

Everyday I thought we wouldn't survive - no cooked meals, clean clothes, plan for the day etc. But we did survive, a "miracle" help always turned up in the end. Now I really know who my friends are!

But the main thing I learned from this difficult time was to trust in G-d and live one day at a time. Not an easy lesson, and I am still working very hard on the "trust" element.

Being positive about pain

2007-05-06T19:29:00.000+03:00

Having climbed out of the depression pit, I am now struggling to be positive about pain. It is constant pain to varying levels, getting worse at night.

It is hard to describe neuropathic pain, but it is like pins and needles (and stiffness) in my hands, feet, legs and even mouth. Most painkillers have horrible side effects, and if I take them in the day I am sleepy or I can't even feel my legs.

I keep hearing about these wonderful Tsaddikim that remained positive and upbeat when suffering tremendous pain or terminal illnesses. One always wonders how you would react under those circumstances. Well for sure I am not on such a high Madrega. I complain a lot and can't accept my situation with joy. Give me an answer, what am I doing wrong?

Long time, no blog

2007-01-15T19:33:00.000+02:00

I always had in mind to keep this blog upbeat and positive. But the last 2 months have been a real struggle healthwise, so I wasn't even able to face thinking of blogging. Worst of all, my spirit of optimism just evaporated. For a normally rational, in-control person this was very hard to face. Anxiety, depression, inabilility to sleep, not being able to work, not being able to exercise, read, or even listen to music ....

Yes, I do have new health problems. Some of them are perplexing to doctors. I just want answers, treatments and to get out of this slump. Maybe moaning like this will do the trick?

Hopefully I will be able to look back on this entry and see progress.

Happy 46th birthday to me!

My cute girls

2006-11-12T20:41:00.000+02:00

A fun snap of Rivki and Tsipi taken on a cheap webcam. This is a typical shot of both girls in pyjamas at a time well after "going to bed time."

Yes, we have an expensive digital camera now, but it's too difficult for me to use! Hopefully I will be able to snap the other 2 cuties soon - Chavi and Malki

Walking on my own

2006-10-31T20:27:00.000+02:00

A new milestone for me. I have walked around the house a few times with my walker and leg supports, and no one following behind me! Scary at first, but the worst case I fall. As my physio advised me I can remain in a glass box all my life, or try and go for it and make progress.

Well, it has given me a great feeling of freedom. I am still very cautious and mainly walk to the bathroom and back, but I guess this is just the beginning...

On the negative side; constant pain, infections and tummy problems are bothering me. Am waiting to start new painkillers which I hope will help.

A change of face

2006-10-14T20:21:00.000+02:00

Actually this is how I really look: smiling, nice hair, no glasses.

Most old friends will now recognise me from this new photo!

It is impossible for me to put my Sheitl on alone, and I haven't been able to teach my careworker how to do it well. I now look forward to teaching my occupational therapist how to do it easily and then she can teach me ...

Pumping Iron

2006-10-07T18:57:00.000+02:00

I used to enjoy exercise. In the last 10 years or so I had little chance to exercise much. I always used to bemoan this fact and look forward to devoting more time to it.

Well now the time has come. 3 times a day (for at least 20 minutes) I have to lift weights and strengthen my muscles. On top of this I have to find time to walk outside twice a day. This takes about 30 minutes per session. To find time for all of this I have to take time out from working, being with my kids, davvening, and speaking to friends.

It is hard to understand why this should be my "tafkid" (role) right now. It doesn't feel right. I know this must be my main focus for the coming year if I want to recover a little.

My father gave me some sage advice before Rosh Hashana. I have to hope that my children, husband and friends will learn from this. When life throws you obstacles you don't give up, you put your maximum effort in and trust in Hashem to get over the hurdles. I have a few good role models to follow, but I am looking for more...

A different Rosh Hashana

2006-09-25T20:42:00.000+03:00

This year I thought I might get to make an appearance in Shul and pray a little bit. Well, it didn't go as planned. My booked help didn't show up, and I was forced to stay at home. So I got to be a regular Mum again and play with my kids. Very different from last year!

Yet again, a few wonderful friends came to the rescue and lifted my spirits. A dear friend made me walk there and back down the street on the first day. Then on the second day, I got to whizz down my ramp and visit another friend 'round the corner. I haven't been to that street or her house in over a year!

So, all in all, it wasn't a very spiritual Rosh Hashana. But minor health ailments over the 2 days made my personal prayers intense. And now my spirits are raised for the coming year as I can get out of the house and visit people.

Reflections before Rosh Hashana

2006-09-16T19:50:00.000+03:00

Last Rosh Hashana I spent a lot of the time in Shul. More than I have in the last 12 years. But this wasn't a regular shul. It was the hospital Synagogue of Hadassah Har HaSofim. To get there was no easy walk. My parents came to the rescue. We had to navigate the long corridors and troublesome shabbos elevators. Up and down, stuck on the 6th floor, almost getting caught in the closing doors. Quite an ordeal....

What an interesting mix of people in shul. All types of kippot, hats, women in trousers, doctors, nurses and of course people in wheelchairs. I felt "Am Yisrael" very powerfully there and was happy to be in Israel. But concentrating on the davening was hard - especially when the Minyan split up into Sephardi and Ashkenazi. Sitting outside I had a stereo version of the prayers.

As to my state of health. Well, it was rather feeble then. After a few hours in the wheelchair I would feel dizzy and sweaty. I could hardly feed myself and I couldn't stand up at all. But overall my mood was positive, I davened hard, and I was sure that quite soon I would be back to normal.

Well, here I am a year later and I am still in a wheelchair. My mood is not so positive now even though I have come a long way. I have to think about the coming year, and worry how I will be judged. I was given a test, but maybe I failed it. I haven't had any amazing insights or revelations yet on the purpose of my test. Did I miss opportunities for changing for the positive?

Yes, I am still the same person that I was last Rosh Hashana. Just maybe a little bit more grateful for what I have (bli ein hora). 5 beautiful children, a comitted husband, living in this holy city, a little work and my mental facilities. As my physiotherapist said "You need to see the glass half full, not half empty."

To a Shana Tova!

New hairstyle and walking clothes

2006-09-14T20:32:00.000+03:00

Does 3 needles stuck in your head count as a new hairstyle? Another form of accupuncture I underwent today.

Yes, I think I am experiencing all types of pain in my current experiences. The pain is what bothers me most right now - forget the walking! But the doctors say the pain may be good ie. a sign the nerves are repairing. As the saying goes "no pain, no gain". Let them suffer it...

One "benefit" of my walking/wheelchair situation is that I get to wear all trendy clothes now. Bright colored tracksuits, expensive trainers and the new Israel fashion - a one-piece skirt and trousers. Problem is this style doesn't go down too well in our frum neighborhood. But I have no choice, I need to be comfortable and I have to see my legs to be able to walk. Anyway as I am always looking down when I walk I don't see peoples' surprised faces.

I walked the street again today (plus a little more). Just waiting for our ramp to be finished and I will be out and about again.

A marathon walk

2006-09-12T20:38:00.000+03:00

Up until now I have only walked indoors, which is quite limiting. Two or three circuits of the house and I am bored and ready to give up immediately.

So on Shabbat, egged on by a good friend I got to walk outside. With her help and distraction I walked the lenth of my street. It felt like running the marathon! But it is only 100 metres or so. It also took around 20 minutes, and I had to perform it in front of an audience of friends and staring Israeli children.

Not to be outdone, I did the marathon walk again today. With my physiotherapist I had to walk properly, and that was hard. I also walked up our half-finished ramp.

So how do I feel now? Not really elated like after a real marathon. It's just that I have a new goal now - to walk to the end of the street and back!

Even robots can make a cup of tea

2006-09-04T20:43:00.000+03:00

Yesterday I finally collected my legcasts. I had been eagerly waiting them for the last 2 months in the hope they will change my life. They will make me walk like a robot, but in the words of a good friend "Even robots can make a cup of tea". If I could just make a cup of tea on my own, life would be wonderful!

So today, I couldn't stand the suspense, I just had to try them out. First of all they don't fit in my shoes, so now I have an excuse to buy another expensive pair of sports shoes. Well, without a physiotherapist training me they are very hard to walk even a few steps. Right now I prefer my own legs.

Well this is the next day. Today the physiotherapist came, and showed me how to walk. It was still hard, but I was walking more like a normal person and much more steady. There is hope! So later on I decided to make a cup of tea. I did it - with the help of my careworker and not on my own - and it tasted good!

This is just the beginning and there is a long way to go towards walking on my own. But as my physiotherapist said, just set you yourself small goals. A lesson for everyone.....

Be Be'Simcha

2006-08-22T08:03:00.000+03:00

I try everyday to keep a positive outlook. I try everyday to keep a sense of humour. I try to smile to people everyday. I try to write only funny or interesting stories in my blog.

I like it when friends come to my house and sing for me. I like it when friends invite me to their Simchas. I like going shopping and treating myself to fun things. I like listening to all kinds of music on my MP3 player.

All these things I believe have a positive impact on my physical health.

Yesterday, someone said to me (via my husband), be be'Simcha about my health problems. I was quite cross at the time when I was told this. The advice-giver does not exactly go about with a happy face and he doesn't have apparent health problems. He doesn't have to endure the constant pain that I have all the time. This is an insensitive comment to say to an "ill" person!

Afterwards, my husband reminded me of what the Baal Shem Tov says. If anything bad happens to you or people say bad things to you, then this is a message from HaShem. We have to look for the meaning from it. I am trying to do this, but haven't had the revelation yet. I hope it comes in this lifetime...

Meanwhile trying to be be'simcha, but just don't say it to me.

A strange measurement session

2006-08-16T19:57:00.000+03:00

Today was my day for going to Tel Aviv to be measured for plastic leg casts. I have been waiting for this for 2 months now while all the bureaucratic paperwork was being sorted out. The secretary told me to come wearing shorts to make it easier for measurement. The whole thing was supposed to take half an hour. Not much to worry about I thought - apart from finding the place. Well I was in for a shock ...

After a long wait, Ronnie asks me to go in a room that looked a bit like a morgue. Then I was asked to take lay on a bed and take my sweatpants off. Then 2 men proceeded to cover my entire legs in bandages and plaster - right up to my knickers! After a few minutes the plaster hardened and then I was immobile. No, problem. Along comes Ronnie's sidekick with a hand-drill and cuts the plaster casts in half and just manages to miss sawing through to my knee. Then comes the fun bit, trying to shower off all the plaster which had stuck to every part of my leg. Not to forget my knickers which were as hard as concrete!

And I just thought the man was going to get a tape measure out to measure me up.

On a sadder note, it pained Moshe and me to see how many children were at this place being sorted out for leg casts. Some of them had never walked properly in their whole life. At least I got in over 40 years of walking normally. We just take these things for granted.

Counting steps

2006-08-01T21:11:00.000+03:00

I try and only write about positive things, so I can look back on my progress.

Progress is very slow and I am still at the level of counting steps. Today I managed to go up and down 9 steps twice. The down is the important part - very hard. Today I also learned how to get up from a chair, and how to sit back down again. These are all things everyone takes for granted, but I have to learn how to do it from scratch. Apparently so do geriatrics!

On a side note, I spent 10 days as a resident of an old people's home so I know what it feels like to be old. Not nice.... These places are terribly understaffed, and people were just left to fall asleep in their breakfasts and ignored most of the time. Something to look forward to ...

The more walking I do the better it gets. In the morning I tried to do without the wheelchair, and sit on a regular chair and use the walker. Tomorrow I get to try out a new wheelchair, so I hope it becomes a "museum piece" in our house!

The demise of Supermum

2006-07-27T20:34:00.000+03:00

I used to be Supermum .... that's what I thought of myself.

Five children (the oldest 10 ) - having a career - running a frum home - being a "perfect wife etc.

I'm not Supermum anymore. I don't bathe my kids, cook their food, change nappies, clear the table, get them dressed, take them to school, put them in bed and the list goes on. I don't even do much for myself anymore like taking a shower, going to the bathroom, putting on a sheitl, going to a shiur etc etc. I have a live-in careworker who does everything now.

Sounds great doesn't it. I always complained before of how busy I was and that I had no time for myself. I used to dream of having a life of leisure. But now I've got it I don't like it.

Yes, I am still "Mum" and will always be that even if I sit in a wheelchair and do nothing all day.

Yes, I still work and have a sort of career.

It's just the loss of the word "Super" that is upsetting for me. I am just "Mrs Average" now.

I think the lesson here for me (and everyone else) is "Ezer who ashir hasameach be'helko".

Is acupuncture painful?

2006-07-26T20:36:00.000+03:00

I was quite anxious before today's treatment. I have had a lot of painful treatments in the last 10 months - EMG (severe electric shocks), Plasmaferrosis (removing all your blood and cleaning it) and an MRI (having your head and body blasted by a noise level of a million decibels). So I tried not to panic too much about a mild session of accupuncture. Anyway I can hardly feel my legs and arms so it shouldn't hurt too much?

THE TREATMENT
I lay on the bed and the doctor started with the needles. No sensation first, then a little ouch. So I reckon he put in about 20 needles. "Fine", he said, "we are finished now". Great, I raised my head to start getting up. Then I noticed my arm/body was covered in needles! "Oh", he said, "I should have told you the needles have to stay in 20 minutes".

Wow, then I panicked! But with a background of relaxing music and a lot of praying I managed to stay calm until the end. Did it help? Too early to say yet, I still have to pay out for a lot more treatments ....

I walked in the garden

2006-07-25T20:26:00.000+03:00

This is just for me to track my progress and for everyone who is interested in what I can manage.

Today for the first time I walked outside! Not unaided though. I walked into the garden on my walker and out the gate. Then I walked up and down 9 steps once. I did all this with some help from my physiotherapist though. Going down the steps was not great - not as good as I did in December when I left the hospital. But progress nevertheless ....

Tomorrow I am starting treatments with a doctor practising chinese medicine - homeopathy and accupunture. I hope it doesn't hurt too much. But it sure is hurting my pocket.

A state of war

2006-07-24T20:31:00.000+03:00

With no TV and living in Jerusalem, we are quite out of touch with what is going on here. But everyone living in Eretz Yisroel feels the state of war right now, and the tremendous "Nissim" being experienced. So many hundreds of rockets and so few casualties. I saw an amazing video clip showing a man playing his piano in the middle of a house just destroyed by a rocket.

On the work front, all the charities I work with are flooded out by calls for help. Even Jerusalem is affected. I heard that more than 3000 people have moved here temporarily from up North. One of our neighbours is putting up 30 of his family members in his small apartment! Right now I am waiting up for a phone call from a charity that is sending out food to over 1000 people a day. I have to help them advertise to get donations for these meals.

Let's pray that the war ends soon ....

Looking inwards?

2006-07-16T19:21:00.000+03:00

This "blog thing" has really been fun for me. I keep thinking of subjects to write about and had in mind something to write about today. But today is not the same as yesterday.

This "illness" of mine has forced me to look inwards and think about middos and teshuva. But I just couldn't focus on me again today. There is too much going on in Israel right now to be self-centered. Jerusalem is not exactly close to the border, but the whole country feels the threat of war.

I think today's entry is aimed at all my complacent friends and family in England. No, I am not suggesting that everyone should make Aliyah. But just think about Israel ... A few things to do:
pray, give charity, fight anti-semitism, come on vacation here!

I was just taken out of this serious mood by a 3 year-old running everywhere with no knickers on and boundless energy. Life is still fun when you are surrounded by little kids.

Facts about Nepal

2006-07-13T20:40:00.000+03:00

I think this is of interest to everyone in the Western world. These are "true" facts about life in Nepal as told to me by my Nepali careworker.

1. Men wear their watches with the face upwards, women wear them with the face palm side.
2. Babies only make (gedolim) in their nappies once a day
3. After the age of 50 husband and wife have to sleep in separate beds
4. A wife has to kiss the feet of her mother in-law every time she sees her
5. All women have small breasts
6. People throw away any food they don't like
7. Spitting in public is acceptable
8. Women don't smoke
9. There is noone in a wheelchair
10. Women don't work after the age of 50
11. After giving birth, a mother rests for 6 months

This list is to be continued at a later date ....

The beginning of the 3 weeks -17 Tammuz

2006-07-13T19:54:00.000+03:00

It's strange not to be fasting today, but I still feel sad! I don't normally follow Israeli news, but for the last 2 days I have been glued to the updates on what looks like War. I have been forced to follow events in order to work on a Google campaign for Ynet. It is quite gruesome to profit from bad news, but a lot of people do including some of my charity customers. For me, it is amazing to see the upturn in searches for any Israel search terms hour by hour. Very addictive work.

Now I have to change my focus as this evening is Moshe's birthday - no songs and dancing - but I guess I have to be cheerful.

2006-07-11T20:45:00.000+03:00

A picture taken on my webcam!

An Introduction

2006-07-02T13:04:00.000+03:00

This is an introduction to a collection of my thoughts, feelings, days happenings and an insight into life.

No, it won't be that profound. Just updates on daily events for friends and family.

A quick summary of where I am up to now:
age - 40+
married - yes, up to 11 years
children - 5 bli ein hora
location - Jerusalem, Israel
work - snr account exec for JMG
hobbies - exercise, exercise, exercise and net surfing
religiouous observance - very "Ortho", but not fanatical
likes - kids
dislikes - kids & careworkers

Now a little about our family. We have 1 boy and 4 girls. The oldest is Yehuda (11 in August), next Rivka (age 9), Chavi (age 7), Tsipora (age 3) and Malki (age 20 months). With 4 girls, lots of money on jewellry, shabbos dresses, new shoes..... and I don't have any teenagers yet...All my children are tri-lingual - English, Hebrew and Yiddish. But when they speak English they have a very "strange" accent.

We are so fortunate - baruch hashem, bli ein hora - to be blessed with these children. Right now, even though it is very hard for me to do anything for them, they are a big source of nachas and joy for me !

I have been working for the last 4-5 years, and still am now. I work in Internet marketing for a small company and spent 2 years at the Jerusalem Post. I am very fortunate to still be able to work, I just need the computer and phone.

This is a brief summary of my recent predicament, the "true version".

It just happened very suddenly in September, although I had felt very weak since the birth of our last child, Malki. Within a few days I could no longer walk, and my arms and legs became numb. It was very scary ...Well, I had to spend 2 weeks in hospital being tested and prodded before anyone could find a reason why. Then a visiting professor from America saw me and he came up with a reason - an overdose of vitamin B6, causing nerve damage. Most bizarre.... I had been given this huge dose of B6 since July by a neurologist for carpal tunnel syndrome.

After this diagnosis the doctors sent me to Hadassah Mount Scopus hospital to the rehabilitation department for 3 months. I have been home since January with a careworker to look after the kids. After coming home I had a relapse and am now on a slow path of gradual improvement. Lots of physiotherapy and tons of patience.

I am still in a wheelchair, but can walk a little on a walker with help. The prognosis? Well, the doctors don't know as I am the only case in Israel. Some are pessimistic, others are more hopeful...But as you know, doctors don't know everything.

I try to be positive, and I always see people in the hospital much worse off than me. Hopefully this blog will give me a bit of fun!